Through the Looking Glass
after the eponymous tale by L. Carroll
Part Three
To the House of Tweedledum To the House of Tweedledee
The arrows, for some reason, both pointed the same way.
"I do believe," thought Alice, "that Tweedledum and Tweedledee live together!"
I'll just visit and say "how d'you do?" and ask them the way out of the wood.
If you think we're wax-works, you ought to pay, you know. They are pay-per-view.
Contrariwise, you ought to do otherwise.
- I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. - The first thing in a visit is to say "How d'ye do?" and shake hands!
Tweedledum and Tweedledee Agreed to have a battle For Tweedledum said Tweedledee Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
So nice it was... so new it was... Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
Just then flew down a monstrous crow, As black as a tar-barrel; Which frightened both the heroes so, They quite forgot their quarrel.
Tra-la (ra-la-la!), tru-lu (ru-lu-lu!) ...they quite forgot... their quarrel!
Do you see that?
- I knew it! It's spoilt! - You needn't be so angry about an old rattle.
But it isn’t old! It's new, I tell you. My nice new RATTLE!
- Of course you agree to have a battle? - I suppose so! Only she must help us to dress up.
Fasten it tighter, or my head could get cut off. You know, the loss of one's head is a very serious loss.
I'm very brave generally, only to-day I happen to have a headache. Do I look very pale?
And I’ve got a toothache! I'm far worse off than you! - Then you’d better not fight to-day.
- We must have a bit of a fight! - Let's fight till six, and then have dinner.
- What a thick black cloud that is! Why, I do believe it’s got wings! It's the crow!
Oh, that's the White Queen!
Would you like to be my lady's maid? Twopence a week and jam every other day.
- No, thank you - and I don't want any jam today. - You won't receive it today.
Jam every other day.
That's dreadfully confusing, I don't understand you at all.
- It's just that you are not used to the effect of living backwards. - Living backwards?
- My finger's bleeding! Bleeding! - Have you pricked your finger?
Not yet, but it hurts already. And now I shall prick it. That accounts for the bleeding, you see. Now do you understand the way things happen here?
- Then your finger no longer hurts? - No!... It does not. Thank you, tha-a... baa-a-a-a....
What is it you want to buy?
- I should like to buy an egg, please. How do you sell them? - One for ten kopek, two for five-kopek and a half.
Then two eggs are cheaper than one?
Then I'll have one, please, - I never put things into people's hands —if you ne-e-ed it, ge-e-et it for yourself!
"But that's Humpty Dumpty!" Alice thought. "That's him and nobody else!"
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall: Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men Couldn't put Humpty... couldn't put Dumpty... Humpty Dumpty, Dumpty Humpty, Humpty Dumpty in his place again.
- How exactly like an egg he is! - I am so fed up with this! Everybody calls me an egg. Every and all!
Wouldn't you be more at ease down on the ground? That wall is awfully narrow!
Not at all! But if ever I did fall off, the King has promised me — with his very own mouth — to...
- To send all his horses and all his men. - You were eavesdropping, weren't you?
- No, I read it in a book! Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called "Jabberwocky"?
I can explain all the poems that were ever invented — and a good many that haven't been invented just yet. Let's hear it!
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
That's enough to begin with. Well, then:
"Brillig" means eight o'clock in the evening when it's time for supper. - I understand. And "slithy"?
That's lithe and slimy. That word is like a portmanteau - you open it and find two compartments! Two meanings packed up into one word.
- Ah, I see it now... and what are "toves"? - They're a mixture of ferrets, badgers and corkscrews.
- They must be very curious looking creatures! - They are that. - And what's the "gyre" and to "gimble"?
- To go round like a gyroscope, to make holes like a gimlet! - And what is "the Wabe"? - Farewell.
- Never in my life have I met someone so repulsive... so rip-rap-ryp-repulsive.
My dear, did you happen to meet anybody? I've sent all my horses and all my men!
- There are thousands of them there! - The exact number is 4207 people.
I am expecting a Messenger any minute now.
Just look along the road, who do you see there?
- Nobody. - I only wish I had such eyes! To see Nobody, and at that distance, too!
Who did you pass on the road? - Nobody.
This young lady saw him too. What's happened in the town? - I'd better wh... whisper it in your ear.
- Go on.
- They’re at it again! - Do you call that a whisper?! If you should ever
scream like that again, I'll have you buttered! - Who are at it again?
Why, the Lion and the Unicorn, of course. Fighting to the death for the crown. For my crown, by the way. Let's run and see them!
I hear you saying: "like fairy-tale living" But judge for yourselves: is that easily lived?
You can't do a thing here without being cautious, Because of uncertainly and of obscurity, And lack of knowledge and unpleasantness...
Oh, it's so complicated! And that's where the fun is! You can't take one step here without taking care.
Although, on the bright side, In fairy tales we meet With real, living queens, Sometimes even a king.
And have a nice chat with The real Humpty Dumpty,
And we sing songs with, And we sing songs with Tweedledum, Tweedledee.